When it rains, it pours. Everyone knows this to be true – especially when it comes to hardships in life.
Lately I’ve been on the brink of wanting to give up. My health is declining, my doctor visits are disappointing and expensive, and still, no one can figure out my pain. I feel like I’ve been thrown out into the middle of the ocean with no life preserver and left to drown.
Last Thursday and Friday I worked physically demanding days, had a memorial service for my husband’s friend who died way too young on Saturday, then worked on my feet again all day on Sunday. Monday morning rolls around, I start to pull out of the driveway to go to work, and realize one of my tires have gone flatter than flat. Perfect start to my busy week!
Work has been super crazy and stressful – this is always my busiest time of year with most of my big events one after another….so much to do, so little time. And those little Lyme buggers love the stress, let me
tell you! The disease also causes increased irritability and dramatic flares of anger – this mixed with my stress is creating some major moments of rage. It’s like nothing I’ve experienced before – as if there is a demon inside of me that comes out whenever it pleases, out of my control. You can imagine the strain this has had on our relationship at home. It’s like my poor husband has to deal with PMS (times 20?) every day of the month. I don’t know which one of us hates it more.
But I digress. We return home from work on Monday, check the mail, and see that I have 3 new medical bills. No
surprise there. But the first one I opened stated we owed $2,500! TWENTY FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS!!!!???
Two months earlier I had tried a pain management clinic as a desperate attempt to get help. They were listed in our insurance network, so I thought nothing of it, even when they charged me an atypical $100 copay. The doctor asked if I wanted to do a cheek swab to see what medications would work best for my body. “Sure!” I said. Of course he gave no indication how expensive it would be – and certainly not that it was going to cost us thousands of dollars! The worst part is, I had decided their clinic wasn’t a good fit for me – so I never went back, or saw the test results. Then, on Tuesday I checked my claims online and saw that we owed another $1,900 for the same doctor visit! I still have no idea what that one is for. Needless to say, this new weight on my shoulders had really added to my already depressed state of mind.
Then yesterday, I ran across this little gem of an article on Facebook. It’s message is so profound, extremely timely for my life, and really applicable for everyone – not just those battling with Lyme. Here’s what it said:
When everything goes wrong remember:
1. Everything is temporary, even this.
2. Happiness is a result of your approach to life, not what happens to you.
3. The things, even that seem small, that are going right in your life.
4. The people who are in your corner.
5. What you care about most and what you can let go of.
6. That you ultimately choose how you react.
7. Your resilience in other tough situations.
8. Bad times don't define you, your approach does.
9. Worrying, anger, complaining, denial or any of the infinite other ways we try to circumvent pain when things go wrong won't change the situation.
Dont:
1. Panic or get too far ahead of yourself.
2. Go immediately to blame and criticism.
3. Lash out.
4. Self-destruct or numb yourself.
5. Neglect your needs.
6. Ignore your intuition.
7. Focus on what should have been instead of what is.
8. Try to control what is out of your control.
9. Remind yourself of every other terrible thing that has ever happened to you.
10. Ask “what if” or “why me” without also reminding yourself of what’s possible and what makes you strong.
11. Focus on others’ opinions, because they’re a reflection of the speaker, not you
12. Worry about who you are or are not impressing.
13. Isolate.
Do:
1. Accept, accept, accept.
2. Stick to the present. Rather than worrying about the future or dwelling on the past, focus on what is actually happening now and what is actually in your power to do now.
3. Focus on realistic expectations for yourself and the situation.
4. Differentiate what you can and what you cannot change.
5. Take one step, then another. Even if they’re just baby steps, keep moving
6. Rather than focusing on the worst case, think instead of what else is possible.
7. Look for the lesson. Challenging situations can often teach us what we have left to learn.
8. Keep a positive attitude by remaining focused on solutions, skills, and strengths.
9. Start small.
10. Spend time with the people who support you.
11. Appreciate the things going well, savor simple pleasures, and try to find the hidden gifts in the difficult times.
12. Take care of yourself.
13. Treat yourself with love and respect.
14. Rejuvenate rather than simply tuning out or unplugging.
15. Ask for help sooner rather than later.
16. Consult or get a second opinion.
17. Take the steps you need to keep working toward what you want in life.
18. Sometimes we are too close to a situation to see it for what it is. Try looking at the situation from someone else’s point of view.
19. Give it the test of time. Ask yourself if this will mean the same thing in one, five, or 10 years. Look at the situation as a relatively short segment in the timeline of your life.
20. Move, your body that is. Get moving to discharge energy. Walk 10 minutes in any direction starting wherever you are then turn around. Go for a swim. Plan a hike
21. Laugh. Watch a comedy. Call up a bubbly friend. Consider the stand-up routine version of this situation.
22. Help someone else in need.
23. Write. Vent your frustrations about this situation, brainstorm strategies to get out of it, or write about a more positive time in your life.
24. Find a creative outlet.
25. Read and reread motivational, inspirational, or encouraging words from others.
26. Get outdoors and get inspired. Watch the sun rise or set. Listen to the birds. Take it all in to gain perspective.
27. Give yourself a minute to regroup. Assess damages, sort out what can and cannot be done, or just get out of the middle of the situation.
28. Choose one big goal to work on in order to make a lasting change.
(courtesy of www.mindbodygreen.com)
I have to admit that my mind is continually fueled by thoughts from the “don’t” list . But as challenging as it will be, I really want to attempt at applying this approach to my life. In fact, I may even print this article out and tape it to my refrigerator and at my work station – as a constant reminder that just because life has given me Lyme, doesn’t mean I can’t make a little Lymeade out of it! Or better yet, a Lymearita!
