Lyme and Pregnancy

Now that the cat is out of the bag on the whole bun in the oven thing, I can share a little about my experience so far. I've been getting a lot of questions about how Lyme and pregnancy mix and how I've been doing with it, so I'm here today to give you my inside scoop on my personal experience (since everyone's Lyme journey and pregnancy journey can be completely different)!

First of all, several have asked the age-old question, "were you trying?" Well, yes, and no. We've been wanting to start a family for years. And we've been "cautiously" trying for about that long. I say cautiously because as much as we've wanted a baby for a while, we've had some major reservations, because of my illness. Number one being the very high probability of passing the disease in utero. The fact that I could give my baby Lyme is absolutely heartbreaking and seemingly unfair. There is also a much higher chance of miscarriage with Lyme.

Secondly, I haven't felt like my body would be capable of taking care of a child, when there have been so many days where I could barely take care of myself. People tell me, "you would be surprised at what your body is capable of when you're forced to." Which is true, obviously I'm a living testament to that. But those people also don't know what it's like to have a body that is so plagued with fatigue and lethargy at times, that you don't even have the strength to lift a water glass to your mouth. Or how the pain can be so incredible that standing and walking for any longer than a few minutes makes you want to scream and cry and give up. So how in the world would I even be able to hold and carry a baby?!

But with all of that said, it still didn't prevent us from trying. I kept saying that it would happen when it was meant to happen, but honestly, we were both starting to think that biological children may not be in the cards for us. Both of my amazing sisters had graciously mentioned surrogacy, and I was about ready to take one of them up on that. Especially since that would mean not passing the disease or dealing with more hardship on my body. But I was still determined to keep trying a little bit longer.

Imagine my surprise when that little stick that I had come to hate showed up positive! This may sound crazy, but I honestly think it was an essential oil I started applying about a month or so before we conceived. At the time, I had no idea it would help with fertility - I was just using it to help with my PCOS and progesterone imbalance. But afterwards I did a little more research and found that many, many women who were having difficulty getting pregnant, had success after using this oil. This is not a shameless plug, I don't sell Young Living, but if anyone of you are in the same boat as I've been in, it's worth looking into the oil called Progessence Plus.

So anyway, of course I was elated, and the hubby was too - probably more so. I gave him a cupcake in this cup, the day I found out, and it's an understatement to say he was shocked and ecstatic! But for me, even more than those feelings, was an overwhelming sense of anxiety and being freaked out. Not in the way a normal person is about their first pregnancy - I wasn't even thinking of any of that yet. My first thought was of my pain and the fact that I was going to have to stop taking my medication. After two years of being on tramadol every single day, all day long - the thought of not being able to take anything for my pain seemed down-right impossible. Plus I read that going cold turkey on that particular med could cause a whole host of scary symptoms, including seizures. I ended up consulting with 3 or 4 doctors, who all recommended oxycodone as my solution. It's obviously not ideal, and I try to get by with as little as possible each day. At this point, I'm really hoping that the new route I'm going for my pain (which I will address in a later blog) will get me to a point where I can finally go off my meds AND be able to take care of my baby without pain!

I've also had to stop a lot of the detoxing I was doing to rid my body of toxins from the Lyme. There have been a handful of things like this where there are no cut-and-dry answers from the medical field...I just have to trust my gut. In this case, do I keep doing something that could possibly harm the baby, or do stop, with the likelihood of toxin build-up - which is turn isn't good for the baby either?! I think this has been one of the hardest parts for me - the fact that there isn't enough knowledge about the disease to truly trust a doctor's opinion on a subject matter.

So, oddly enough, a few weeks before the pregnancy symptoms appeared, I was starting to notice that it seemed as though some of my Lyme symptoms were getting better. At the time I thought it was because of my Lymestop treatments. Aside from my pain, I was suddenly able to experience a semblance of normalcy again, and it was wonderful! Now, I don't know if it was truly the treatments - if the infections have left my body as Dr. S. says - or if it's the pregnancy and hormones that have alleviated some of my symptoms. Several of my Lyme doctors have told me that Lyme symptoms get better during pregnancy (and worse after). So I guess I won't really know which of these it is until after this baby pops out. Obviously, I'm really hoping it's the Lymestop that worked.

For now, I'm doing absolutely nothing to treat my Lyme, which feels really, really strange, and really great at the same time. A couple of my doctors have also said that if you start taking antibiotics as soon as you find out about the pregnancy, that the percentage of passing goes from about 90% to 5%. Two years ago, newly diagnosed and completely ignorant, I believed this to be true. But since then I have read about and talked to a lot of other Lyme patients who took antibiotics during pregnancy and STILL passed the disease. So what's the point? And do I really want to immediately hinder my baby's immune system by pumping him or her full of these drugs? Needless to say, I've opted not to take them. I guess we will just cross that hurdle when we come to it.

Now onto how I've been feeling. The first trimester was complete HELL. I knew that pregnancy could be hard and that throwing Lyme into the mix would make it even more difficult, but wow, did I severely underestimate the power of what these phenomenons could do to a person's body. It's difficult to say what symptoms has been from pregnancy and which has been from Lyme. I think they are both exasperating one other. And of course I don't know what it's like to be pregnant as a normal human being. But I had a very tough time functioning those first few months.

I actually used to think, "maybe pregnancy will be easy, because I'm so used to all the symptoms already." With Lyme, I'd often have several hours in a day where I was so lethargic that I couldn't move. With pregnancy, I went entire days like this, for weeks. I remember it was around Easter, because I went home to be with my family but all I could do was sleep or lay on the couch. With Lyme, I've been nauseous on and off for 9 years. But THIS was something I never want to experience again. Every day, every waking hour, I felt like I had just gotten off a horrible, spinning carnival ride. I wanted to puke all the time, but never did (thankfully, I guess?). Even when I closed my eyes, I felt like the room was spinning. It also had non-stop acid-reflux nausea. Nothing helped - motion sickness bracelets, preggie pops, acupuncture, essential oils, ginger, tea - nothing. I'd power through work somehow, and then lay on the couch the rest of the night. I wouldn't even get up to go the bathroom unless I really, absolutely had to. Hubby had to do all the cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping for weeks on end. He was a rockstar.

I hoped to God that it would all go away at the 2nd trimester. And thankfully, oh so thankfully, it did. I'm now 16 weeks along, and feeling better and more normal than I have in a really long time. My digestive symptoms that plagued me the first 4 years of the disease are back with a vengeance, but that's something I've learned to live with over the years anyway. The extreme stomach distention I've had for 9 years is worse than ever, which not only makes it difficult to fit into any of my clothes, but it's also hiding any kind of baby bump that may be there, which is quite disappointing. Hopefully that will change soon. And I'm still not sleeping well at all. But "aside from the pain and numbness" which is like my mantra now, I'm feeling pretty decent. It's too bad that that's the one thing that still keeps me from living a normal life. But I still have a little bit of hope that it won't be like that forever. And so far, the baby is testing healthy - which is the greatest news of all!