A few posts ago, I mentioned "forgetting" about my Lyme disease, to focus on the pregnancy. In a certain sense, that approach still rings true. I haven't seen a Lyme doctor since before we conceived - just OB docs and pain specialists. I still receive emails and words of advice from people on what worked for them, what they think I should try, etc, etc., but the thought of tackling all that along with the pregnancy and everything else I have going on just overwhelms the hell out of me. So I put it all on the back burner. However, I'm finding that I can't completely ignore the fact that I have this disease. Obviously, my body doesn't let me forget it - I'm pretty sure all these symptoms I've been facing aren't all pregnancy related. But what I hadn't been anticipating in the beginning was all the decisions that I would have to make, where Lyme must be taken into consideration.
Of course the first one I had to make was whether or not to take antibiotics. I've talked about this before - many of my doctors assured me in the beginning of my diagnosis that taking antibiotics from the start of pregnancy would drastically decrease the odds of passing Lyme onto the baby. However, most of you who follow my blog know by now that after 10 years of a lot of doctor misguidance, I take what they all say with a grain of salt. After chatting online with many other Lyme moms, I found that a majority of these women who took antibiotics still ended up with a Lyme disease-ridden child. A child who then also has to deal with the repercussions of long-term antibiotic use. No thank you.
Earlier in the third trimester, the doctor asked me about doing the Tdap vaccine (for tetanus, diphtheria, and pertussis) as well as the flu shot. I told her I was concerned about the affect it would have on my body because of the Lyme, since the last time I had the flu shot, I got VERY sick. She recommended that I check with my Lyme doctor. Of course, now you all know that I don't really have a current LLMD, but that's our little secret. :)
So I spent a few weeks doing research and reaching out to other Lyme moms again. The responses were really quite unanimous - NOT to do the vaccines. Such a multitude of stories similar to my flu experience 3 years ago, where the shot left them extremely sick. Some people who were in remission, or even those who's Lyme had been lying dormant in their bodies, experienced a trigger of the disease. A lot of people talked about ending up in the emergency room. And even some cases of their baby dying in utero shortly after receiving the vaccine. I won't get into the "to vaccine or not to vaccine" debate, but what I read and heard from others, in addition to my own experience, was enough for me to realize I did not want to proceed. When the OB asked me again, I told her the LLMD said not to. Although, my diagnosing doctor did once tell me that a health decline is imminent after receiving a vaccine because it suppresses the immune system against the Lyme germ. So it wasn't a complete lie. ;)
And then there is the upcoming epidural option. I think even as a healthy person I'd be torn on whether or not to get one. I understand the pros, I get the cons, but what's best for me? I'm mostly worried about it because of my current back pain. I've had "normal" people tell me they still have pain from the epidural, years later. And at this point, I don't think my body could handle new or worsening pain. Would the shot itself affect my Lyme? I have no clue. When I had a steroid injection in my back prior to back surgery 3 years ago, I also got very sick, much like I did with the flu shot. I shudder to think of that happening during or after labor, because I'm pretty sure I'll already have enough on my plate.
However, I'm extremely worried about the pain. And not so much the regular labor pain (although, yes, I'm anxious about that too!), but what my current back condition is going to do to me. My OB doctor has referred me to meet with an anesthesiologist next week to discuss pain management in my rare case. I don't expect this person to know anything about Lyme, and because we don't know what's causing my back pain, it may be difficult to decipher what to do with that too. But at least they can tell me whether or not I should be taking the oxycodone up to a certain point, and I'm hoping the meeting will help me in making a decision on this epidural thing one way or another.
Then, after she's born, there is the breastfeeding debate. If I were a healthy human, this would be an easy decision for me. But with Lyme disease, I have to consider the fact that I could pass my illness onto her through my breast milk. That is, if I haven't already. Again, I put on my research cap and spent countless hours online trying to decide what to do. This one proved to be a lot less black and white. Studies are completely unclear - some doctors say that the Lyme bacteria can be transferred through the milk, while others say there is no such evidence. I went to the "mom" board again and found similar results - some were quite sure they passed the disease along while breastfeeding, while others say their kid is completely healthy. In the end, I'm pretty sure I will give it a shot. I can't necessarily say that the benefits outweigh the risks - the advantages of feeding her breast milk are just as important to me as the possible risk of passing this disease. But I guess I'm figuring that the chances of me already having passed it to her in utero are much greater. So if she already has Lyme when born, I may as well keep her as healthy as I can in other ways with the breast milk. Living on a wing and a prayer.
And if anyone is wondering, my plan is to go back to Lymestop a few months after the baby is born, both for me to get re-checked and treated, as well as to get her checked. I'm hoping that if I have passed Lyme onto our baby girl, that Dr. Smith will be able to eradicate it.
So of course the hard part for all of these decisions is that there is no cut and dry answer for any of them. I can't count on going to a doctor or two and getting the same answer all across the board. In fact, it's usually just the opposite. Googling scenarios either gives me no answer at all, or so many varying responses that I end up more confused than when I started. As we all know, every pregnancy is different. And in the same respect, every Lyme case is different. It's like trying to find a matching fingerprint to your own - completely impossible. So in the end, I've learned that what works best for me is basing most of my decisions on other life experiences, and then completely trusting my gut. If only my gut knew no wrong....
