I can't believe how long it's been since I blogged....just 3 days before our baby girl was born, and now just over 4 MONTHS ago! Time sure does fly when you have a cute little nugget to take care of! I knew my personal time would drastically subside after having a little one, but boy was I in for a big surprise when God granted us a baby who NEVER, EVER wants to be put down. There's so much to catch up on, I'm not even sure where to start. I've had several people ask me to write about the birth experience, so I guess we'll begin with that!
​As I mentioned in my last blog, the OB felt that I needed to have an induction scheduled because of my "advanced maternal age". He had actually asked us to do so before the baby was even due! I still don't understand that. Despite my Lyme disease, the pregnancy was a healthy one overall. Not to mention I had just turned 35 this summer (the age at which you are considered advanced)....so if I had the baby in the spring, would they not have been worried? So silly. After learning about inductions during our birthday class I, by all means, wanted things to happen as naturally as possible. Thankfully, the hospital was full the week I was asked to go in; I'm guessing Valentines Day 2016 was a busy baby-making holiday. ;) So the earliest they could get us in was on Monday, November 7th. Despite my reservations in being induced, the planner in me did like the idea of knowing exactly when it would happen. I also liked that this meant I wouldn't be having a Halloween baby or an Election Day baby!
My parents had driven over from the Eastern side of the state on Saturday the 5th, and by that night, I started having minimal and sporadic contractions. I went to bed and actually slept a decent spell from what I remember (my "decent" anyway, which is a few hours on and off). The next morning I woke up around 7:00 am and laid there through some pretty intense contractions, knowing that I probably had a while yet, and that it was best to be in the comfort of my own bed. I recall hanging out with my dad on the couch for a little bit after that, when all of a sudden my contractions went from about 8 minutes apart to 2 minutes apart. I called the hospital and they told me to come in right away, because I needed to get two rounds of antibiotics in prior to the birth. Thankfully I was mostly packed, but I rushed around the house as fast as I could throwing some last minute things in my bag, not even caring that much if I forgot something because the pain was so incredibly intense and all I could think about.
We all know that the dramatic scenes in movies and on television, depicting expecting mothers racing to the hospital, are pretty far-fetched....I mean, come on, it doesn't usually happen so quickly that the driver needs to speed through red lights, or that the baby gets delivered in the backseat of the car?! But our ride to the hospital definitely ended up being more frantic than I envisioned. Things were progressing so rapidly, and at such an intense rate...I had no idea what the immediate future held, but both my husband and I knew we needed to get to the hospital as soon as possible. Our house is a good 20 minute drive to the hospital, and of course we kept getting stuck behind the typical "Sunday Strollers/Left-Lane Campers" on the freeway.
I remember wishing we had fake cop car lights that Leigh could place on the top of the Ford Explorer to help us barrel our way through...but no such luck. One thing I was able to use to my advantage, though, was the temporary handicap parking pass I have for my pain; luckily there was one spot left near the entrance. I about jumped out of the car and ran (OK, well it was more of a quick waddle) my way to the registration desk without even checking to see if the hubster was behind me.
Once checked in, we were told to go to Room 4, and then sat there for what felt like FOR-EVER, with not a soul in sight. Meanwhile, I was starting to grasp just how much I had underestimated the pain of labor and childbirth - holy cow! I thought, "if it hurts this much NOW, how will I possibly be able to endure this to the end?" Even as a first-timer, I could tell things were happening really fast. With all my patience out the window, I marched out to the hallway, found a nurse, and asked what we were supposed to do. She rudely told me that she would be right in. Not exactly the warm fuzzies I expected in a birthing center! Maybe it's just me, but the last thing I want to feel going into my first labor experience is abandoned and mistreated. But it's not like we could walk out the front door in search of better service, so instead we just vented to each other and hoped that eventually someone different would come in and take care of us, and soon.
Thankfully, our hopes were answered when a blessed angel in the form of a nurse named Stephanie came to the rescue. She couldn't believe that I hadn't already received my first round of antibiotics and seemed a little appalled herself at the lack of service to a mom who's baby was clearly coming pretty quickly. Turns out, I never did have time to get that 2nd round of meds!
And about that epidural...a few blogs ago I mentioned my conundrum about getting one. A couple weeks before my due date, I talked with an anesthesiologist who said that an injection could possibly make my back condition worse, and that there was also a chance an epidural wouldn't even work for me because of the scar tissue from my previous surgery. I went back and forth about it a LOT, but despite the possible repercussions and the other negative attributes of epidurals, I had eventually resolved to take the risk and go through with the needle when the time came. Like many have said before, "you can do it naturally, but why would you WANT to?" I knew that I could handle the pain, but I've also dealt with enough of it in my life, and was ready for the "easier route" for once. I was told that the anesthesiologist would meet with me once we arrived to the hospital to discuss in further length, but as you may have guessed, that didn't happen either. The only one on staff that day was in an emergency C-section, and well, baby girl just didn't want to wait for that!
I certainly wasn't anticipating a natural birth, and MOST DEFINITELY didn't expect it to hurt that bad. I remember saying near the end that I couldn't do it anymore. My amazing midwife, who I had never met until that day, encouraged me that I could, and that I was close. That's what kept me going, knowing that it was almost over and I'd be meeting my baby soon. I honestly don't know how ladies who push for hours and hours without meds do it! Before I knew it (a mere 2 hours in from arriving at the hospital), I was holding Baby Bedell in my arms - all 6 pounds, 13.5 ounces and 19 inches long of her. Such a surreal experience. I had my mom and my husband by my side...mom got to cut the cord (Leigh was a bit too squeamish for it) and probably my favorite part (after watching the video playback) was hearing the joyful laughter from my husband as our little daughter emerged into the world. A family of 2 turned into a family of 3 just like that!
I ended up having a second degree tear on the inside, all the way up to my cervix. They brought in a special surgeon, along with 2 assistants, to fix me up. Stitching took about an hour; it wasn't as bad as the birth itself, but oh man, was the pain incredible. Luckily, I had my baby to distract my mind from it at times. The doctor and nurses said that typically under those conditions, they would have taken their patient up to the O.R. and put her under for the surgery. But they could "tell how tough I was" and I remember they kept saying how incredibly and unbelievably strong I was. I also remember thinking, "oh, if only you ladies knew...." :) One of the nurses said that the tear may have been the result of our baby holding her arm up to her head when she came out, making the circumference that much wider - which I totally believe, because that's how she was positioned each time we did an ultrasound. She still does that at times when she sleeps too, which is the most adorable thing.
I had been really concerned about how my normal pain, especially the back and hip pain, would fare during all of this. The nurses were great at letting me be in whatever position was most comfortable throughout labor - which for me was standing and leaning over the side of the bed. I don't know if the actual labor pain distracted me from the other pain, or if it really wasn't there at all, but I hardly remember it being an issue. Near the very end I remembering saying that my back was killing me, and by then it was time to sit back in bed and push - so it didn't last very long, thankfully.
The rest of our hospital stay is kind of a blur. We ended up there for 2 nights, mostly because they wanted to monitor the baby due to the oxycodone that I had been taking throughout my pregnancy (even though the daily amounts were very minuscule). Originally, we were told it would be a minimum of 5 days that she would need to stay (with us having to go home) so I was elated when they told us we could go home and take her with us!
Having to stay an extra night ended up being a bit of a relief for us, because our daughter was a very difficult baby to manage from the get-go. She fed non-stop and screamed her little head off as though there was nothing we could do to appease her. Unlike the days of old when babies stayed overnight in the hospital nursery, she roomed with us the entire time, which was awesome, and incredibly difficult at the same time. I was so exhausted from the labor, plus my health problems, and running on a few hours of sleep over the course of 4 days! At one point I broke down to one of our fabulous nurses, Marie, because I felt so helpless in caring for our new baby who would NOT STOP CRYING. Marie was also heaven-sent because at one point she finally offered to take our girl down the hall during her shift so we could try to get some sleep. Of course, my body wasn't about to allow some shut-eye. And poor Leigh had to try sleeping on a cot that was at least a foot too short for him. But it was still nice to have a tiny bit of reprieve from the screaming.
I recently read an article on Facebook about a mom who lost her little baby because he wasn't getting enough nutrition from her breast milk. The baby acted very similarly to how ours did - the incessant crying and nursing. Seeing that made me so thankful that the lactation nurse finally decided near the end of our stay to supplement with formula. We used a syringe and tubing so as not to confuse the baby right away. Of course it seemed so easy at the hospital, but as soon as we got home, it sure was tough to figure out! We were so afraid of sticking that tube too far down her throat, but then all the formula would come crashing down out of her mouth! Luckily we didn't have to do it for too long.
It took us until the end of our hospital stay to decide on our baby's name - it got to the point where nurses would come in saying, "do we know yet?" And here I am thinking, "this is a big decision ladies- lay off!" ;) We had long ago narrowed it down to two names using a tinder-like app (swipe right if you like it, left if you don't) that gave us a list of matched names we both liked. Leigh really wanted the name Brooklyn, with which her middle name would have been Rae, my twin sister's middle name. I liked that name a lot, and also wanted to make my husband happy! But the longer I held our little peanut, the more I just kept feeling as though she seemed like a Brynn to me. :) Eventually Leigh agreed that it was the name that suited her best.
So Brynn Elise Bedell it was! She is our firstborn - our princess, our little lovebug, our pride and joy, and the best thing we've ever done. Our lives have been, and forever will be, changed. The overall birthing experience was much more difficult and painful than I expected, but I think it all worked out the way it was supposed to - NATURAL and FAST! ;) Since then, my own health has not been good - and I will write more about that later - but we are so elated to have a healthy baby girl, and can't wait to see the person she becomes!
